lotusland - nervous politics from a laid-back city

please stop sucking at trolling

i dont care about the lack of readers, but i am extremely despondent given the fact everyone who reads my blog and chooses to troll me sucks at it and cant do it without bringing up their shriveled little wangs or the fact i dont think we crackers have it all that rough.

if you need tips on trolling, i would like to suggest plato's republic (an entire book on the socratic trolling method) or the peloponnesian war (esp. speechby the corinthians)

i am also shaking my head and fist and tin of anthrax at anyone who is so goddamn clueless about the intarwebs that they think political blogs ought to turn down the vitriol.   politics makes people assholes, the anonymity of the internet makes people assholes, and combined this just produces a large cloud of assholicus maximus that hangs over the public sphere like the stench over a bathroom stall. 

kimveer gill was crazy, according to the intarwebs quizzes

no, im not entirely insensitive - i am deeply sorry for anyone who was hurt by the events, especially the family and friends of the girl who was murdered. 

the internet, however, is a big place.  this portion of the internet would like to discuss the stupidity of the national post, who are proving themselves to be a bunch of technophobes  who spent so much time kissing ass and memorizing lines about the blogosphere revolution for their stupid cocktail parties  that they forgot to find out what teh intarwebs are all about. 

hire an intarwebs nerd to check on this crap or stop fucking discussing the intarwebs like you know 4chan from fark.  and no, i am not available.

the reporters allison hanes, sean silcoff, and graeme hamilton have attained "you lose! good day, sir"  status in my books with the following line:

"Results of several profiling tests he had taken indicated he was depressed, bleak, and satanic.  One survey summary read: "You're [sic] heart is black.  You are dead inside, possibly because of your past, you feel you have no emotions left and like you're just wanting to die." 

(the rest of the description, not cited in the post, is: You find it hard to trust people and let them get close to you for fear of being hurt again. Never give up on yourself, there's always hope- no matter how bad things get.)

fuck whatever that dsm book-learning shit is!   i think he took this one, and  it is obvious that the good people at quizfarm.com make every effort to ensure that only professionals create these quizzes and that the results are tantamount to a solid diagnosis and arent written by other intarwebs teenagers who just want to provide little blocks of html-based goth cred to plaster all over ones myspace.  every 15-year-old girl knows the true way to glimpse into someones psychological state is through the internet quiz, which has the side benefit of projecting your badass identity or subculture.

this is why i fucking have contempt for the media and completely doubt their understanding of the intarwebs - theyll shit all over wikipedia, which actually has more pretty geeky, well-read denizens making regular modifications than political hacks/vandals, but the intarwebs quiz gets treated with sobriety and legitimacy

peter mackay is not hot (from the department of how many times do i have to say this shit)

peter and condi, sitting in a tree, etc.  cute.  lets proceed to what is not cute, and thats peter mackay.  i feel like im taking crazy pills because hes so admired as "the hot mp" when hes actually quite ugly, even by 'lol hes 40' standards.

ok. 

pros:  decent build, nice shoulders
cons:  beady eyes = very no.  big chin.  non-descript wasp face not given character by odd-looking long nose.  am i the only person who notices how beady those eyes are?  please.  he looks like a frat boy, except at least they tend to have innocent wide doe eyes exploding with enthusiasm every time kegs and tits are mentioned, and not the beady eyes featured on mr mackay.

anyone can go to a gym and get buff and i have great respect and admiration for the buff as the muscles are sexy, as is the devotion.  he is buff, but that does not make him hot.

PETER MACKAY IS A BUTTERFACE, PEOPLE.  not a hot guy.  a butterface.

have i seen mr. mackay in person?  bitch, please.  of course i have.  it's not like seeing bill clinton in person - somehow he radiates man-essence and you are compelled to find him attractive.  peter mackay is boringly polite and likes to do cutesy nonsense like wink at women, which is bullshit i just dont appreciate.  call me a feminazi but i feel like saying "no thanks, i prefer ego boosts from people who arent you at places that arent a workplace" every time i get that shit from a dude.

omg! i winned teh intarnets money!

check this out, haters.   it turns out that my patronage of the internet services  just won me a bunch of money!  all i have to do is send an email to adam smith with my account details and his invisible hand will deliver.

UNITED KINGDOM IN COLABRATION WITH GOLD MINING COMPANY.
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD
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OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO,12th AVENUE KWAME NKRUMAH 01 BP .
WINNER- REF: LP/26510460037/03.
BATCH: 24/00319/IPE

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All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 25,000 names from Africa, Australia, New Zealand, America,Europe,North America and Asia as part of International Promotions Program that is conducted annually to encourage the use of Internet and Internet based programs. We are delighted to express our heartfelt congratulations to you.

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12TH.AVENUE KWAME N'KRUMAH,
OUAGADOUGOU,BURKINA-FASO.

NAME: MR. ADAM SMITH.
Email:[email protected]  or
      :[email protected]

Remember,all prize money must be claimed not later than 30 Sep  2006.
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The Management,
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