lotusland - nervous politics from a laid-back city

harper too good for the superbowl

his whole "Being prime minister of Canada I can assure you I focus my exclusive football attention on the Grey Cup -- which is always much more exciting'' was so vomit-inducingly corny.  the prospect of watching their lame 'attack' ads during the super bowl was also utterly lame.   im sorry, but michael ignatieff braying about the environment does not go with beer and football.  conversely,  maybe iggy the american gives these ads a bit of  yankee flavour that would complement a treasonous sunday afternoon spent watching the super bowl.  at any rate, it is my impression that the ads did not air during the marquee slot due to copyright considerations.  pity.

feelings i have after watching these ads:
1. i am so glad i didnt watch the liberal leadership debates or go to the convention.
2. these ads, they say nothing.
3. getting things done for all of us has got to be the lamest slogan ever.

this election is going to be a youtube election, yada yada.  first person to lend/buy me a video camera gets to socialize with all the bikini girls im going to have in my grassroots youtube revolutionary internets videos. 

harper and same-sex marriage

honestly, what the fuck is this, besides a cheap attempt to make nice with his base?  conservatives like to call this "re-opening the debate on same-sex marriage" while i like to be more specific and call it "making unconstitutional laws that run contrary to the opinion of a majority of canadians in order to pander to special interest groups."

42 of the 158 mps who voted for same-sex marriage arent in the house anymore, so i guess this is their chance to ignore the popularly-accepted interpretation of the charter of rights and freedoms to advance their religious agenda.

organizations such as the defend marriage coalition hate our freedom. 

socons, im sorry to report that questioning the right of homosexuals to marry ignores popular opinion and provincial rulings. 

what of civil unions?  what is the difference between granting "marriage" or a civil union that encompasses all the rights and provisions of what the state defines as marriage?  the word "marriage," i guess.  so petty. i was raised catholic and i learned that a marriage in the church is valid in terms of catholic life (its a sacrament) while a marriage at a courthouse or wasp-style in some bigass garden or at a hindu temple is not a marriage in the eyes of (catholic) god.  the churches have the power to define marriage on their terms for their members.  should they have the right to determine this for the rest of canada?  hell no.  (emphasis on the hell)

nobody is making the churches marry gays and lesbians, so i dont know why this is such a huge concern.

hastert's little switcheroo

reposted with explicit permission from this man.

House Speaker Dennis Hastert of Ill., center, gets out of a Hydrogen Alternative Fueled automobile, left, as he prepares to board his SUV...after holding a news conference at a local gas station in Washington, Thursday, April 27, 2006 to discuss the recent rise in gas prices. Hastert and other members of Congress drove off in the Hydrogen-Fueled cars only to switch to their official cars to drive the few blocks back to the U.S. Capitol. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

helena guergis wtf; west wing remains awesome

i have nothing notable to say about helena guergis at this time, except that this looks like a freakin album cover, and isnt that hilarious.  youth vote holla back...

in other news, the west wing continues to be the most awesome show on television despite its tendency to jump an ocean's worth of sharks every single episode.  chief of staff banging the first lady's chief of staff?  please.  president bartlet a)being wrong about war between nuclear powers and b)admitting it to hurricane santos?  yeah right.  the episode did have its moments, though.  after making us look at bradley whitfords homely mug all season, they brought back the hot rob lowe action and then turned it up by having him occasionally stand next to president jimmy smits.  how does that insidious little douchebag manage to be hot while doing such unsexy things as playing an attorney and wearing rimless glasses?   ill never know. 

im a douchebag. sorry.

so, it seems i havent been updating this thing at all, really.  no, i have not quit blogging.  it seems my ire hasn't been raised much these days.  id provide explanatory photo evidence, but such documents are not even fit for publication on teh godless intarnetz.

something raised my ire today, though, and it wasnt the lack of pew space at easter sunday mass.

"I'm not Islamophobic," I protested. "I've dated Muslim women. I'm very partial," I added, lapsing into a modified bit of Brit vernacular, "to Islamototty. "Under no circumstances are you to say that in print," he said sternly. ("Totty" is Britspeak for "hot babe" or "hot babes." The form can indicate singular or plural, as in "I went to a party at this duke's pad. Talk about your posh totty." Would have been nice in Austin Powers, but it may postdate Austin's sixties' heyday.)   

 

erm, no. 

1. if you want to engage in ridiculous cocktalk, get a fucking personal blog.  even though it's the western standard, a lot of people reading it might be into manners and politeness and all that.  it's a recognizable publication and has a bit of media authority and cred as the voicebox of new canadian conservatism.  id say "act accordingly," but maybe this kind of juvenile crap is what you want to project to the nation.

2. dating an islamic woman doesn't give you islamocred.  it doesn't make you less prejudiced, either.  you remind me of this girl 99% of ubc hates to death because the second the word "racism" is mentioned in a lecture, her cracker hand starts shooting in the air because she has some irrelevant shit to tell us beginning with the phrase "MY BLACK FIANCEE" ... dear white people:  stop insisting your desire to stick your, erm, hands all over someone is a mark of your tolerance and understanding.  horniness is not a political act.

3. totty is actually slang for prostitute in some circles of anglos who havent become accustomed to its rehabilitation as a pg-13 level epithet.  isn't that pleasant.

men (i guess ill specify hetero) dont like it when feminazis like myself question the way they speak about women.  they dont like being reminded of asymmetrical power relationships or gender or anything that smells faintly of a way of seeing the world that doesnt rely on an overly simplistic universalism.  men dont like it when you tell them to stop acting like boys, because obnoxiousness is seen as some kind of right. 

i can take a joke, i can make a joke, but there is a time and a place... yknow?  i dont take that shit from men *and* i can laugh when things are actually funny and thats probably why im dating someone awesome and out of my league.

***

i do welcome others spamming their blogs and online casinos in the comments, but do be warned that 1. i will visit your site and 2. i will tell you if i think it kinda sucks. 

it is not rare that i attack people of considerable public stature.  it is rare that i say a blog sucks.  i kind of feel bad doing this, but dude took my pet peeve and made it his blog title. 

http://bcpolyblog.blogspot.com

lotusland remains vehemently opposed to anyone who thinks "poly" is an abbreviation for the word "politics" as it is already a prefix in its own right.  this is a stupid and illiterate thing to do, and it's something i see all the damn time as people in my degree program can't get enough of this shitty shorthand.  POLI SCI.  WITH A FUCKING I.

thank you and happy easter.

harper, you are a fatass.

only in the sun... 

The PM's pudgy middle is more than just an issue for photographers and editorial cartoonists, however. There is no shortage of medical evidence that carrying all that extra weight sharply increases his risk of medical problems, like cardiovascular disease and Type 2 diabetes, along with everything from cancer to high blood pressure, gallstones and gout.

ok, all that health stuff, plus fatness is freaking hilarious.  admit it...

no cut and run, folks

harper said:  "There will be some who want to cut and run, but cutting and running is not my way and it's not the Canadian way," "We don't make a commitment and then run away at the first sign of trouble. We don't and we will not, as long as I'm leading this country." (hat tip to sinister thoughts).  this was march 13, 2006.

the washington post said: For the 22nd time in a speech as president, Bush said we would not "cut and run" in Iraq. this was written december 15, 2005.

maybe these hippies pointing out cliché overkill/sharing amongst conservatives are being trivial.  nah, it actually does sound that stupid.  "dont cut and run" is great criticism from a coach during a game and maybe you could call your band "cut and run" or something... how come the various handlers wont let leaders speak of war in non-folksy and non-sterile terms.  only soldiers can pull that language off. 

as long as harper doesnt continue with the hackneyed bushisms, the quality of rhetoric in canada should be ok.  meanwhile, 10 points to anyone who forwards me harper using the word "rejectionist."

now for the armchair advising:  how about not reusing clichés bush & co employ to death?  why are you co-opting his way of describing dissenting opinion.  do you think he is doing a good job as a uniter? 

stephen harper is a crazy hockey dad!

supporting quotes, via ctv (and candace, who is donning a tinfoil hat):

"I can watch my son play and say, 'Gee, I wish I could play like that,' because I was not much of a hockey player and I wish I could have been," he said.

"I really did lose it once last year, but I wasn't alone, when my son set up a goal where it was scored dead-centre in the net and the refs didn't call the goal," Harper said. "It was the worst call I ever saw."

He admits that, "I'm a pretty intense parent, but we have to tone it down for public purposes."

garth turner commenter, you are the funniest person on the entire internet

i love conspiratorial nuts.  (from this thread)

By the way Mr. Turner - your Blog has been inundated by Liberal trolls pretending to be shocked and dismayed Conservatives.
There is a well-orchestrated team of such bloggers who are intent on keeping this alive so Canadians are distracted from the real issues of the day - uncovering Liberal corruption being the one they most want to drown out.

Some of these bloggers should ask the Liberal war room for a few more original phrases as the ones they are using are getting over used.
Oh, and maybe change the syntax a bit in your writings as that is as telling as a fingerprint.

now im going to go up to my room and cry because theres a stealth-spamming liberal blog gang and i wasnt asked to join. 

david emerson petition

sign to recall emerson, because crossing the floor before swearing in makes a mockery of the whole voting thing.